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The Tortoise Islands are located approximately 1000 miles (1600 km) south west of the Galapagos Islands, with Zendia the only other nearby country. The islands are distinguished by incredible volcanic mountains, the world's densest jungles and giant lakes. Almost no humans live on Catastrophe Island, and very few live south of the DMZ in the south of Great Tortoise Island where it is considered far too dangerous.

pterodactyls in flight

The two main islands are separated by the notorious Strait of No Return. The Strait is considered to be the most dangerous in the world. The unique underwater geography, where the former land bridge to Galapagos (now submerged) amplifies powerful Pacific currents many times over to create the world's most powerful current.

Huge volcanic rocks lie submerged and uncharted in the strait making navigation unbelievably treacherous. Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of ships have met their tragic end in the infamous Strait of No Return.

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All the islands' residential settlements are on Great Tortoise Island in the north with population concentrated in the capital of the Tortoise Islands — Los Midas. Other major cities include Brisburg, Wallidistan (home of the famous zoo), Rosmill (famous for UFO sightings) and New Las Vegas (a replica built by the Tourist Commission). The combined population of the Tortoise Islands is believed to be about 5 million.

In the south of the island sits Machineville, the city of robots, about which little is known. Machineville is actually located in the DMZ — just south of the prohibited zone coordinates.

None of the citizens of the Tortoise Islands live in the dangerous wilderness of Catastrophe Island. In fact, only a handful of explorers and researchers have ever been known to return from visiting there, though many have tried.

The Great Gold Rush of 1887-1888 was the second biggest gold rush of all time, second only to the phenomenal discovery at Sovereign Hill in Australia. However, before he died, a prospector by the name of Ronald Rafferty revealed that there was a lode at least twice that size on Catastrophe Island, but it has never been located.

The sole remaining nugget, one of the largest ever found, was described as "one of the smallest ones" and the only one he was able to save from the shipwreck in the Strait of No Return. For more than a hundred years, the legend of Rafferty's Lost Reef has captivated the imagination of adventurers, gold-diggers, swashbucklers and prospectors — all tantalized by the prospect of fabled riches awaiting.

politics heading

The island's main party is led by His Excellent Excellency Dear Leader Raymond Sunshine, President, and leader of the Free Beer Party (FBP). The FBP is extremely popular and has been in power continuously since 1952.

The Opposition consists of a coalition of diverse parties dominated by the aggressive Headhunters Party (HP). Policy advice is provided by the Mental Institute for Strategic Studies which is led by Prof Willard Travis.

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Media on the islands is spearheaded by the major international news magazine Loungecast and overseen by the National News Commission (NNC). The official contract for the Tortoise Island's internet communications was awarded to Turtle Portal in early 2001.

loungecast magazine pic

Loungecast needs no introduction. As one of the world's most respected newspapers, its legendary scoops and reports are heavily relied on by intelligent readers and leaders in the Tortoise Islands and around the world. Loungecast's award-winning ace reporters, operating from bureaux in all major countries around the world, indeed set a global standard for fearless and balanced reporting.

Another well-known major international group, the WCD (see also the "Research" article following) administers the islands' internet connection with the outside world. It also operates a continuum link to a gyrotron operated by the Time Machine Tribune from which irregular reports are obtained from the future.

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The Tortoise Islands' currency is the Coconut Dollar ($C) which is administered under the central control of the Feral Reserve and chairman Dr Greenhorn. And with billions of coconuts growing freely on trees, the citizens of the Tortoise Islands are considered to be the wealthiest in the world. Tortoise Islands includes a free currency converter. There is also a useful page where you can check the latest status of your stock. The Tortoise Island's Government currently holds the world's third largest gold reserves, guaranteeing the prosperity of the nation.

The Tortoise Islands has one of the most successful and prosperous banking sectors in the world today. The largest bank, Tortoise Bank, was established in 1889 at the end of the Great Gold Rush and over the years has grown to become the international financial colossus it is known as today. Tortoise Bank stores the Islands' gold reserves under contract with the government.

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Historically, the islands have prospered via its successful agriculture sector, spearheaded by Jungle Bird Seed (which controls more than 80 per cent of the world bird seed market) and Jed's Horse Feed (chief supplier to the US war effort in Afghanistan). In the technology sector, companies like Satanco (genetic modification) are increasingly dominant.

Today, Getmore Global is the country's largest company with diverse interests around the world and whose Chairman Frank W Getmore needs no introduction. Getmore Global is now one of the 20 largest companies in the world, and is also the largest shareholder in Tortoise Bank, among others. Other major corporations and household names around the world include Dumblon Cosmetics, Nukula Mobiles and Natural Plutonium.

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The World Chaos Disorganization spearheads scientific research on the islands. The WCD has built a huge complex of research laboratories in the south of Great Tortoise Island since being expelled from the USA in the late 1980s. A joint facility is also operated in association with the Great North Wallidistan Zoo at the top end of the island.

Joint ventures are also being explored with Satanco and other technology companies and organizations worldwide. The WCD is headed up by the award winning scientist Prof Mort Grippen and a formidable team of ground-breaking scientists and researchers from around the globe.

The Mother Nature Index is also headquartered on the islands. This amazing index provides a valuation of nature per capita.

The Mental Institute for Strategic Studies is the Islands' premier research institute. The MIFSS provides strategic policy and research advice to governments and corporations around the world.

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Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of dinosaurs live on Catastrophe Island, part of the Tortoise Islands group of islands. Archaeologists have concluded that the dinosaurs walked to Tortoise Islands on the Giant Land Bridge from Galapagos around 180 million years ago during the Mesozoic Era. Catastrophe Island is the sole surviving country today which still has live dinosaurs roaming the earth.

dinosaur photo

Precise knowledge is difficult to obtain considering the intense dangers existing in the jungles of Catastrophe Island, the densest and most extreme in the world. Unfortunately, very few teams have ever returned alive from expeditions there.

The world's most feared dinosaur, Godzorro, is generally believed to be based on Catastrophe Island. He is one of the principal reasons expeditions to the island are few and far between.

The true identity of Godzorro, the legendary Masked Monster, has never been discovered. Many theories and rumors circulate around the world (the most prominent theories are detailed on his website) but none have ever been proven.

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The friendly inhabitants of Great Tortoise Island are a deeply spiritual people. About 40 per cent of the population worship a giant turtle, and another 40 per cent a giant tortoise. The rest belong to various cargo cults or are led by the famous evangelist Eternal Jim Jones.

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Whether it's the golden panoramas of Great Tortoise Island's magnificent beaches, the colossal snow-capped peaks of the gigantic Malice Mountains, an incredible adventure is assured for visitors to Tortoise Islands. Whether it's enjoying the pleasurable rewards of gaming at Los Midas Casino or Farce City Casino, or visiting world famous tourist attractions like the incredible and inspiring spectacle of the Statue of Limitations, fun and happiness are guaranteed to visitors to the Tortoise Islands.

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All of Tortoise Island's most world famous movie stars and musicians live right here on Great Tortoise Island. The world's largest robot Kingpin Tin has been seen on the north island numerous times and he is believed to maintain a base on Catastrophe Island.

The world's most controversial superhero Bloooperman has also occasionally been sighted in the cities of Great Tortoise Island.

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The island's most wanted convict is undoubtably Killer Greely, the notorious Australian fugitive now believed to be hiding out in Los Midas. Also on the top ten wanted list are Bad Dogs Bloggs, the Professor and Mouldy. Convicted felons (those who are not at large) reside at His Excellent Excellency's pleasure at the notorious Doggo Road Prison in Brisburg. The sophisticated Tortoise Islands Police Department is run by Police Commissioner Ed Elmsby and a crack team of agents and officers.

Rumors that Destrucula, the world's most notorious and powerful criminal mastermind, has a hideout in the Islands have never been proven, though they are acknowledged as being highly likely by security agencies. The Tactical Response Directorate, the Islands' top security agency, has designated Destrucula as it's top priority — while at the same time denying that the notorious criminal menace has any operations in the Tortoise Islands.

It is no secret that many regions of the Islands, in particular Catastrophe Island, are terrifying and lawless territories beyond the reach of law enforcement agencies.

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TortoiseIslands.com — Official site of the Banana Republic of the Tortoise Islands

More information about the islands appears in Loungecast

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Tortoise Islands is part of the Alarm Media Entertainment and Business Network

OFFICIAL PORTALS
AlarmMedia.com  |  TurtlePortal.com

INTERNATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS
World Chaos Disorganization.com  |  World Stealth Organization.com
Mental Institute for Strategic Studies.com

MAGAZINES
Loungecast.com  
|  Time Machine Tribune.com

GLOBAL ENTITIES
Godzorro.com  
|  Kingpin Tin.com  |  Bloooperman.com  |  Destrucula.com  |  The UFO Files.com  |  Machineville.com  |  Killer Greely.com

SOVEREIGN GOVERNMENTS
Tortoise Islands.com

USEFUL INFO
Statue of Limitations  
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© 2001-2013 David Tyrer  All rights reserved

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© David Tyrer 2001-13.

This site contains audio and is dependent on Flash ™ animation. (Flash is a trademark of Adobe® Systems, Inc. The Flash player can be downloaded from Adobe.com). However, a brief text summary of the sites can be read at turtleportal.com/text_only.html for the vision or software impaired. The text of Loungecast, Time Machine Tribune and the Tortoise Islands home page appear in HTML.

 

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