Tortoise Islands are located approximately 1000 miles (1600 km)
south west of the Galapagos Islands, with Zendia the only other
nearby country. The islands are distinguished by incredible volcanic
mountains, the world's densest jungles and giant lakes. Almost
no humans live on Catastrophe Island, and very few live south
of the DMZ in the south of Great Tortoise Island where it is considered
far too dangerous.
two main islands are separated by the notorious Strait of No Return.
The Strait is considered to be the most dangerous in the world.
The unique underwater geography, where the former land bridge to
Galapagos (now submerged) amplifies powerful Pacific currents many
times over to create the world's most powerful current.
volcanic rocks lie submerged and uncharted in the strait making
navigation unbelievably treacherous. Hundreds, perhaps thousands,
of ships have met their tragic end in the infamous Strait of No
the islands' residential settlements are on Great Tortoise Island
in the north with population concentrated in the capital of the
Tortoise Islands Los Midas. Other major cities include Brisburg,
Wallidistan (home of the famous zoo), Rosmill (famous for UFO sightings)
and New Las Vegas (a replica built by the Tourist Commission). The
combined population of the Tortoise Islands is believed to be about
the south of the island sits Machineville,
the city of robots, about which little is known. Machineville
is actually located in the DMZ just south of the prohibited
of the citizens of the Tortoise Islands live in the dangerous
wilderness of Catastrophe Island. In fact, only a handful of explorers
and researchers have ever been known to return from visiting there,
though many have tried.
Great Gold Rush of 1887-1888 was the second biggest gold
rush of all time, second only to the phenomenal discovery at Sovereign
Hill in Australia. However, before he died, a prospector by the
name of Ronald Rafferty revealed that there was a lode at least
twice that size on Catastrophe Island, but it has never been located.
sole remaining nugget, one of the largest ever found, was described
as "one of the smallest ones" and the only one he was
able to save from the shipwreck in the Strait of No Return. For
more than a hundred years, the legend of Rafferty's Lost Reef
has captivated the imagination of adventurers, gold-diggers, swashbucklers
and prospectors all tantalized by the prospect of fabled
island's main party is led by His Excellent Excellency Dear Leader
Raymond Sunshine, President, and leader of the Free Beer Party (FBP).
The FBP is extremely popular and has been in power continuously
Opposition consists of a coalition of diverse parties dominated
by the aggressive Headhunters Party (HP). Policy advice is provided
by the Mental
Institute for Strategic Studies which is led by Prof Willard
on the islands is spearheaded by the major international news magazine
Loungecast and overseen
by the National News Commission (NNC). The official contract for
the Tortoise Island's internet communications was awarded to Turtle
Portal in early 2001.
needs no introduction. As one of the world's most respected newspapers,
its legendary scoops and reports are heavily relied on by intelligent
readers and leaders in the Tortoise Islands and around the world.
Loungecast's award-winning ace reporters, operating from bureaux
in all major countries around the world, indeed set a global standard
for fearless and balanced reporting.
well-known major international group, the WCD (see also the "Research"
article following) administers the islands' internet connection
with the outside world. It also operates a continuum link to a
gyrotron operated by the Time
Machine Tribune from which irregular reports are obtained
from the future.
Tortoise Islands' currency is the Coconut Dollar ($C) which is
administered under the central control of the Feral Reserve and
chairman Dr Greenhorn. And with billions of coconuts growing freely
on trees, the citizens of the Tortoise Islands are considered
to be the wealthiest in the world.
Tortoise Islands includes a free currency
converter. There is also a useful page where you can check
the latest status of your stock.
The Tortoise Island's Government currently holds the world's third
largest gold reserves, guaranteeing the prosperity of the nation.
Tortoise Islands has one of the most successful and prosperous
banking sectors in the world today. The largest bank, Tortoise
Bank, was established in 1889 at the end of the Great Gold
Rush and over the years has grown to become the international
financial colossus it is known as today. Tortoise Bank stores
the Islands' gold reserves under contract with the government.
the islands have prospered via its successful agriculture sector,
spearheaded by Jungle Bird Seed (which controls more than 80 per
cent of the world bird seed market) and Jed's Horse Feed (chief
supplier to the US war effort in Afghanistan). In the technology
sector, companies like Satanco (genetic modification) are increasingly
Getmore Global is the country's largest company with diverse interests
around the world and whose Chairman Frank W Getmore needs no introduction.
Getmore Global is now one of the 20 largest companies in the world,
and is also the largest shareholder in Tortoise Bank, among others.
Other major corporations and household names around the world
include Dumblon Cosmetics, Nukula Mobiles and Natural Plutonium.
World Chaos Disorganization
spearheads scientific research on the islands. The WCD has built
a huge complex of research laboratories in the south of Great Tortoise
Island since being expelled from the USA in the late 1980s. A joint
facility is also operated in association with the Great North Wallidistan
Zoo at the top end of the island.
ventures are also being explored with Satanco and other technology
companies and organizations worldwide. The WCD is headed up by the
award winning scientist Prof Mort Grippen and a formidable team
of ground-breaking scientists and researchers from around the globe.
Mother Nature Index is also headquartered
on the islands. This amazing index provides a valuation of nature
Institute for Strategic Studies is the Islands' premier research
institute. The MIFSS provides strategic policy and research advice
to governments and corporations around the world.
perhaps thousands, of dinosaurs live on Catastrophe Island, part
of the Tortoise Islands group of islands. Archaeologists have
concluded that the dinosaurs walked to Tortoise Islands on the
Giant Land Bridge from Galapagos around 180 million years ago
during the Mesozoic Era. Catastrophe Island is the sole surviving country
today which still has live dinosaurs roaming the earth.
knowledge is difficult to obtain considering the intense dangers
existing in the jungles of Catastrophe Island, the densest and
most extreme in the world. Unfortunately, very few teams have
ever returned alive from expeditions there.
world's most feared dinosaur, Godzorro,
is generally believed to be based on Catastrophe Island. He is
one of the principal reasons expeditions to the island are few
and far between.
true identity of Godzorro, the legendary Masked Monster, has never
been discovered. Many theories and rumors circulate around the world
(the most prominent theories are detailed on his website) but none
have ever been proven.
friendly inhabitants of Great Tortoise Island are a deeply spiritual
people. About 40 per cent of the population worship a giant turtle,
and another 40 per cent a giant tortoise. The rest belong to various
cargo cults or are led by the famous evangelist Eternal Jim Jones.
it's the golden panoramas of Great Tortoise Island's magnificent
beaches, the colossal snow-capped peaks of the gigantic Malice Mountains,
an incredible adventure is assured for visitors to Tortoise Islands.
Whether it's enjoying the pleasurable rewards of gaming at Los Midas
Casino or Farce City Casino, or visiting world famous tourist attractions
like the incredible and inspiring spectacle of the Statue
of Limitations, fun and happiness are guaranteed to visitors
to the Tortoise Islands.
of Tortoise Island's most world famous movie stars and musicians
live right here on Great Tortoise Island. The world's largest robot
Kingpin Tin has been seen
on the north island numerous times and he is believed to maintain
a base on Catastrophe Island.
world's most controversial superhero Bloooperman
has also occasionally been sighted in the cities of Great Tortoise
island's most wanted convict is undoubtably Killer
Greely, the notorious Australian fugitive now believed to
be hiding out in Los Midas. Also on the top ten wanted list are
Bad Dogs Bloggs, the Professor and Mouldy. Convicted felons (those
who are not at large) reside at His Excellent Excellency's pleasure
at the notorious Doggo Road Prison in Brisburg. The sophisticated
Tortoise Islands Police Department is run by Police Commissioner
Ed Elmsby and a crack team of agents and officers.
that Destrucula, the world's
most notorious and powerful criminal mastermind, has a hideout
in the Islands have never been proven, though they are acknowledged
as being highly likely by security agencies. The Tactical Response
Directorate, the Islands' top security agency, has designated
Destrucula as it's top priority while at the same time
denying that the notorious criminal menace has any operations
in the Tortoise Islands.
is no secret that many regions of the Islands, in particular Catastrophe
Island, are terrifying and lawless territories beyond the reach
of law enforcement agencies.