Media on the islands is spearheaded by the acclaimed major international news magazine Loungecast and overseen by the National News Commission (NNC). The official contract for the Tortoise Island's internet communications was awarded to Turtle Portal in early 2008.

loungecast newspaper with headline saying HORROR SHOCK DISASTER CRISIS


Loungecast needs no introduction. As one of the world's most respected newspapers, its legendary scoops and reports are heavily relied on by intelligent readers and leaders in the Tortoise Islands and around the world. Loungecast's award-winning ace reporters, operating from bureaux in all major countries around the world, indeed set a global standard for fearless and balanced international reporting.

Another well-known major international group, the WCD administers the islands' internet connection with the outside world via servers and communications towers known as Turtle Portal. It also operates a continuum link to a gyrotron operated by the Time Machine Tribune from which irregular reports are obtained from the future.


The island's most wanted convict is undoubtably Killer Greely, the notorious Australian fugitive now believed to be hiding out on Fear Island. Also on the top ten wanted list are Bad Dogs Bloggs, the Professor and Mouldy. Other convicted felons (those who are not at large) reside at His Excellent Excellency's pleasure at the notorious Doggo Road Prison in Brisburg. The sophisticated Tortoise Islands Police Department is run by Police Commissioner Ed Elmsby and a crack team of agents and officers.

smoking gun lying on it's side


The world's most controversial superhero Bloooperman is also often seen in the cities of Great Tortoise Island. However, polls show that many believe he is more of a liability than an asset in law enforcement.

Rumors that Destrucula, the world's most notorious and powerful criminal mastermind, has a hideout in the Islands have never been proven, though they are acknowledged as being highly likely by security agencies. The Tactical Response Directorate, the Islands' top security agency, has designated the pursuit of Destrucula as it's top priority — while at the same time denying that the notorious criminal menace has any operations in the Tortoise Islands.

It is no secret that many regions of the Islands, in particular Fear Island, are terrifying and lawless territories harboring who knows which escaped convicts from which countries, defiantly beyond the reach of law enforcement agencies, the last refuge of the evil.

two pics, the white hut which looks identical to the famous white house except it has a straw thatched roof, wooden hut with tortoise written on it in a deep jungle setting by the water


The island's main party is led by His Excellent Excellency Dear Leader Raymond Sunshine, President, and leader of the Free Beer Party (FBP). The FBP is extremely popular and has been in power continuously since 1952.

The White Hut represents the center of government in the islands. Situated in Los Midas, it is a popular tourist destination.

the white hut looks identical to the famous white house except it has a thatched roof


The Opposition consists of a coalition of diverse parties dominated by the aggressive The Headhunters Party (THP).

As a member of the important Group of Nine (The G9), the Tortoise Islands is a significant player in the global geopolitical sphere and the nation has stepped forward with initiatives in this important arena. Policy advice is provided to the government by the Mental Institute for Strategic Studies which is led by Prof Willard Travis.


Whether it's the golden panoramas of Great Tortoise Island's magnificent beaches, the colossal snow-capped peaks of the gigantic Malice Mountains, or the perfect blue waters of the ocean surrounding – an incredible adventure is assured for visitors to Tortoise Islands. Whether it's enjoying the pleasurable rewards of gaming at Los Midas Casino or Farce City Casino, or visiting world famous tourist attractions like the incredible and inspiring spectacle of the Statue of Limitations, fun and happiness are guaranteed to visitors to the Tortoise Islands.

a hut on the water with rain forest and palm trees


Travel is of course highly dangerous in the islands. Visitors should take all possible precautions at all times including carrying firearms at all times. The mortality unfortunately is the highest in the world. Security advisories should be consulted before arrival for the latest alerts.Visiting Fear Island has been prohibited since 1946.


The friendly inhabitants of Great Tortoise Island are a deeply spiritual people. About 50 per cent of the population worship a giant tortoise, and another 40 per cent a giant turtle. The rest belong to various cargo cults or are led by the famous evangelist Eternal Jim Jones.

a large and majestic tortoise in the sunshine


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